Love Against All Odds
by ShiroKuro OokamiRyu
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki had lost the one he loved but by some matter of miracle his love was brought back to him. Sadly, he never knew of Ichigo's love and in fact hates him. Will love prevail or will Ichigo only suffer more? Rated for later chapters and WARNING for YAOI- BOY X BOY- I also don't own the cover art.
1. Chapter 1: Hello Alone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters, otherwise Grimmjow would have spirited Ichigo away and Ulquiorra would have made Orihime his "woman".**

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_**WARNING!: GUY X GUY Relationship, YAOI**_

Chapter 1

Ichigo's Point Of View

I have committed a great taboo…

I have fallen for one of my enemies. I don't know how, when or even why I did, but when I fought him I found that I did not want to hurt him. I did not want to fight him, even if it meant betraying those that I cared about, betraying all that I had known.

But still, I fought him. Every time we crossed paths I hid my feelings and did as I was supposed to. And during our last fight against each other…

He died.

Since then I cannot forget him, I can't get the memories of him out of my head. I still think about him every day. I still remember the look on his face when he died, his soul fading. I miss everything about him. His condescending smile, which I had found so annoying in the past, that I had wanted to swipe it off of his face, was now so dear to me.

It brought me to tears on multiple occasions when I thought about it. His eyes, 'those damned eyes' that showed such animosity, were and still are so important to me. They were so beautiful. Those eyes that were so precious to me I would never see again. Those eyes haunted me and were a constant in my dreams; they were gone without the owner of them knowing how I felt.

I sighed and started walking to the meeting hall in the Soul Society. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of these memories. The Soul Reaper Captains were gathered there to decide the fate of a soul in front of all the squads' high rank seats. They had asked me to watch the proceedings and give my opinion. Sure, it was boring but I was curious as to who the soul was and why the other Squad Captains wanted my insight on what should happen to that soul. I walked through the doors to find the Captains, Lieutenants, Urahara, and other squad members arguing.

I made my way through the squabbling shinigami, surprised to find that even the calm and regal Byakuya Kuchiki was in a heated argument with Kenpachi Zeraki. As I got a glimpse at the soul from the crowds I saw locks of spiked sky blue hair. I felt my heart beat painfully in my chest, hammering against my ribs. 'This feeling…' I thought while clutching my hand to my chest.

I've felt this way before but only when I saw… I squeezed through another pair of arguing lieutenants, desperate to see the soul for myself, finding myself mere feet away from him. 'Those eyes', they were looking straight at me. "That's not possible." I whispered to myself in complete disbelief. The soul whose fate was being decided today was the person that I have loved for years.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez


	2. Chapter 2: A Whisper & A Clamour

**Disclaimer: I don't own the anime or characters that I write about otherwise Ichigo and Grimmjow would have become a mated pair with many cubs to raise and Orihime would have had a harem of arrancar lovers**

Chapter 2

My breath halted while my heart beat a mile a minute. Grimmjow stared right at me but something wasn't right. His blue eyes were dull and defeated. His entire body seemed sullen. His shoulders were slouched and slumped, not pulled back proudly to bare his chiseled chest or squared in contempt and arrogance. His skin was whiter than it should be, no sign of the tan that seemed to cover his whole body. He looked thin and sickly. His spiked hair drooped, not sticking up defiantly. Even his blue eyes held none of the fire that had entranced me when I first saw him, long before I loved him. He looked like he had given up. His hands were bound and chained in front of him. He looked away from me and his head hung. He had been broken.

My heart stuttered and beat against my ribs, aching to see him this way. Grimmjow who was so strong and powerful, prideful, now looked sickly, weak, and pathetic. Had he resigned himself to whatever fate the Captains would decide for him?

My body seemed to have a mind of its own as I took a step toward him. I just wanted those eyes to look my way, just once more…

I jumped sky high when I felt someone's hand on my left shoulder. I turned to see Rukia watching me with concerned and reproachful eyes. "Ichigo I know that you want to attack him but you have to wait until after the Squad Captains make their decision."

She couldn't have been more wrong of what I wanted in that moment. Yet to keep suspicions from arising I followed her to an unoccupied corner of the room where we listened to everyone's conversations. About 80% of the soul reapers wanted Grimmjow to be executed or forever tortured for his alliance with Sosuke Aizen, crimes against the Soul Society, and murder of their fellow reapers. It felt like pressure was bearing down on me, making it harder for me to breathe. My hand went to my throat as I tried to swallow. Rukia looked at me with confusion and concern in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I blinked at her before my hand dropped to my side and I nodded. "I'm fine." I choked out the words because I was anything but. Even so, there was no reason to worry her over such things. Rukia didn't notice my lie or chose not to and went back to watching everyone's conversations. I couldn't have said a bigger lie if I tried. It felt like someone was forcing me to swallow a knife and sticking needles into my heart as the conversations went on. Grimmjow, the one I had already lost, had returned to me by some matter of miracle, only to be taken away once again. As the arguments continued, Head Captain Yamamoto called for attention. Everyone fell silent and it saddened me to see that Grimmjow's head still hung, looking down at the floor, his eyes hidden from me.

"We have all come here to decide the fate of arrancar and former Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." He was silent for a moment. The tension in the air from all the shinigami felt like it was choking me. "We have yet to hear from Ichigo Kurosaki however and his input is crucial to the decision." Yamamoto paused.

"On what ground?!" Someone from the crowd of reapers had yelled. Captain Yamamoto narrowed his eyes, trying to find the reaper that spoke out without his permission.

"On the grounds of what he has personally gone through and how he has suffered because of the arrancar Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." I winced softly and bit my lower lip. I was going to be the deciding vote on what would happen to Grimmjow. I had to word this carefully and correctly so what I said didn't end up sounding like treason and no one would be any wiser of my feelings for Grimmjow. Grimmjow lifted his head and his eyes found me in the room. I felt some of the old hatred and loathing that I had fallen in love with. I opened my mouth to say something but the words were stuck in my throat under his gaze, choking me. My heart wanted so much to tell him how much I love him and how much I missed him, but my brain knew that I could never do that. "Tch!" Grimmjow said before turning his head away from me. My heart throbbed painfully in my chest, the pain spreading throughout my chest before I breathed in deeply, trying to calm the pain or at least lessen it. I knew that he didn't have a clue of how I felt for him, he was simply reacting to me the way he always had. A part of me was so thrilled and happy that I was able to see him again, see those eyes that I had dreamed about, but another part was torn up because I couldn't tell him or do anything to show my love for him. Looking around I saw that everyone was watching me, waiting for me to speak, to pass my verdict. Licking my lips before clearing my throat I spoke.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez has been the cause of many wounds, pain, and suffering for my friends and I-"

A growl stopped my words and my eyes flicked over to where Grimmjow was chained and saw him turn his head away in arrogance. My jaw clenched as I hoped that he would stay silent and allow me to finish what I had been saying. After all I was trying to help the idiot, not condemn his hollow ass to death like the others wanted!

"Yet, even with all he has done, all that he has caused, I believe that every soul deserves a second chance, one to live and prove themselves, even a soul such as his."

The crowd went silent, even the whispers and mumblings had stopped, making everything seem like time was standing still, eerie even. Though I could tell that time hadn't stopped, seeing them blink from time to time. Looking over at Grimmjow to see what he made of my words I was greeted with the sight of Grimmjow staring at me, shocked, the first time I've ever seen him that way in my life. His stunning blue eyes that seemed dull and lifeless just moments ago had widened and his mouth, his dry and cracked lips were parted, agape. Not a single soul in that room had thought that those words would have come out of my mouth, that I would ever be so forgiving. Though as quickly as all became silent loud voices broke the façade of peace, arguments and yelling could be heard from every corner of the room, so much that Captain Yamamoto had to yell to be heard.

"Silence!"

Abruptly all noise came to an end as he cleared his throat. "Having heard Ichigo's input I will decide on the fate of the arrancar. You are all dismissed and may return in an hour's time. Meeting adjourned."


	3. Chapter 3: Dismantle, Repair

Disclaimer: I don't own the anime or characters that I write about, I do however own the story idea. If I did own the anime then Grimmjow, our cute little kitty, would have had a heat cycle and taken Ichigo as his mate, having a big and beautiful family of blue haired tea eyed, orange haired blue eyed, babies! Rukia would have Kaien by her side along with Renji, and Orihime would be the beloved queen of all hollows!

Chapter 3

When the meeting ended Rukia had placed her hand on my back and lightly guided me to through the doors. As we left I took one more look back to Grimmjow and to my shock I found that he was watching me as I left. "Tch." I thought I heard him say before he looked away, turning his head roughly as the door closed, hiding his cerulean blue eyes from my sight. I sighed before schooling my features as Rukia and I headed to a café close to the hall. On the way there we walked by Renji and he scowled at me. I inwardly cringed, knowing that if things happened as I hoped they would many people would most likely be glaring at me and giving me looks similar to Renji's. After getting to the café we were seated, Rukia ordered a red bean bun and I ordered a cup of hot green tea. Rukia tilted her head and looked at me oddly after I ordered. "Tea? Since when do you drink unsweetened tea?" I didn't answer her and our orders came quickly. "Ichigo are you okay?" I couldn't look at her as I heard her voice filled with concern. I knew she must have had questions of her own about why I stood up for Grimmjow but she kept quiet, only asking of my wellbeing. Nodding I put the cup to my lips and took a sip, cringing on the inside as the bitter taste flowed over my tongue. Now I remembered why I didn't drink unsweetened tea, (shudder) bitter… I kept my eyes on Rukia so I knew when she wasn't looking and put two cubes of sugar in my tea. Honey was better with tea but sugar would have to do. I took another sip and the left side of my mouth quirked up. It wasn't good but it was better, besides I needed it to help me calm down. My mind was whirling and buzzing from the thoughts and voices, my chest was aching, everything seemed to cause me pain.

Rukia only shrugged as she saw me drinking the tea, not noticing my grimaces, and focused on her bean bun. The time passed slowly and seemed like we were waiting forever instead of for only an hour. When an hour had finally passed we headed back to the hall and upon arriving we saw the reapers were acting as they had before, arguing and angry. But this time when I walked by they made a path, stopped their conversations, glared at me (to whom Rukia glared back at), some looked away like they couldn't bear to look at me, and others hissed, lifting their lips in disgust and distaste. Still against all of them I kept my head up and my back straight, in an attempt to hide my unease, not to mention how much I wanted to crawl in a hole at that point and time. Rukia and I went back to the corner we occupied before and listened, waiting for Captain Yamamoto to start the meeting and speak of what he decided for Grimmjow.

Captain Yamamoto walked up to his pedestal and called for silence. "I have taken all that has been caused by the soul and everything that has been said." The head captain looked straight at me as he spoke these words. It made me wonder if he was looking for something in my eyes and if so then what was he searching for?

"Bring out the prisoner." His voice boomed and resonated inside of the hall and I hid my feelings of panic and despair behind indifference. Yet my heart almost stopped, my breath catching in my throat, as I saw him. I forced my lungs to expand and tried to restart my breathing as tears tried to gather in my eyes. I inhaled deeply and tried to force them away, he looked worse than he had before. Anger grew in me like a fire as I could only guess that the reapers that had been guarding him had beaten him while Grimmjow was chained and shackled, unable to defend himself. I understood their reasoning, how they were taught to hate all hollows and arrancars, slay them, and they knew of what Grimmjow had done but they didn't even allow him to fight back. Where was their sense of honor?

Head captain's voice shook me from my raging thoughts. "Now, I have decided the prisoner's fate." He paused and all I could do was pray that he listened to the words I had spoken. He looked around at the reapers silently gathered in the hall, awaiting his decision. "The prisoner Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez will…" To me it seemed as if time had stopped, frozen as my eyes met Grimmjow's. His eyes, the ones I had missed and loved so, held no sorrow, no hatred, no loathing or anger, only acceptance. To see that in his eyes only made it harder to fight back the tears. He was accepting his fate…

He mouthed something to me and my eyes widened. "Goodbye Ichigo." His trademark smirk curled his lips. "I hate those god damned eyes." My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I blinked back the tears that couldn't be known to the world.

"-Be pardoned and given a second chance at life."


	4. Chapter 4:Never Take Friendship Personal

**Yo! I'm back and I've got the longest chapter so far for this story. I got my muse back and am working on that idea I had for Shiro and Renji in the last chapter of The King's Pet. Don't worry I wouldn't be that big of a tease and I also can't let out beloved Shiro and Renji go unpunished for their rude interruptions~**

**-purrs sweetly- Grimmjow would you be a darling and do the disclaimer for me?**

**Grimmjow: -shrugs nonchalantly with a smirk- Sure thing. ShiroKuro ****doesn't own Bleach, the characters she writes about, or the cover art for this story (blackstorm from Deviantart does and holy fuck is that person talented or what?! Give it up for that artist ladies and gentlemen~). If she did own Bleach then Captain Yamamoto would have been killed by Aizen, Mayuri would have been defeated by Szayel, and Ichigo would have never lost his Soul Reaper abilities. **

**ShiroKuro: -kisses Grimmjow's cheek before grinning widely- Thank you, love~ I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to hear what you guys think.**

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Chapter 4

The reapers gathered in the hall were silent, far too shocked by Captain Yamamoto's words to speak up themselves. My own mouth was slightly open, shocked as my eyes went wide in disbelief. 'I-it can't be…' I thought to myself, sure I was awake but this was like a dream to me.

As everything finally sank in it became extremely hard for me to keep a straight and impartial face. I just wanted to jump up and down like a kid and grin widely like an idiot. Grimmjow had been given a second chance. He was going to live… I was so god struck with happiness, hope, just complete ecstasy, but Captain Yamamoto clearing his throat brought me out of my thoughts and glee. "But due to what Ichigo Kurosaki said and the fate decided there will have to be someone in charge of watching over the arrancar, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. I have decided that the person will be…"

I could tell that every soul reaper within the hall was hoping that they weren't chosen to basically "babysit" the hollow. If they didn't believe or pray to a god before, they certainly did in that moment. I honestly didn't care who Captain Yamamoto chose since he most certainly wasn't going to choose me for the task-

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

I blinked a few times and replayed what the Head Captain had said over in my mind.

"What?"

Were all of my favors being cashed in on the same day? Or did some deity owe me some kind of miracle? I looked to the ceiling for a moment, half expecting booze or money to start raining down, something insane like what just happened. I still couldn't believe this was all real, that it wasn't some kind of elaborate and cruel joke.

Everything had been silent and still as death until one of the reapers let out a rude outburst. "Well it sucks to be you Ichigo!" I rolled my eyes. Yep, that was definitely Renji. Another boisterous voice joined in. "Yeah, you just saved his worthless ass and now you have to guard it!"

My eyes narrowed as I recognized the reaper that spoke as Ikkaku, not really appreciating the 'worthless' comment but I appeared calm other than my hands turning to fists and clenching sporadically. "Talk about karma!" "It's a bitch!"

More voices joined in, one after the other yet all agreed with each other on the subject. As the jokes and cracks at my expense continued, I felt my eyebrow twitching and I growled under my breath as I watched even Kenpachi laugh like a hyena. He laughed so hard that one of his iconic bells fell off. "I got it Kenny!" Yachiru leapt off his shoulder to catch it before returning back to her perch on his shoulder in the blink of an eye.

After she returned the bell to its proper spike she turned, looking at me with pity in her big maroon eyes but whether it was pity for having to deal with Grimmjow or what I had to deal with as currently being the laughing stock of the reapers gathered in the hall. I had no clue. The noise, laughter, joking, heckling, seemed to go on forever but I didn't cower or even lose my temper. I could however see that the Head Captain was getting to the end of his patience, finally snapping with a booming yell.

"SILENCE!"

The room became silent again, only whispers and the shuffling of feet to be heard. Captain Yamamoto sighed as his eyes opened to regard the room before landing on me. "Ichigo Kurosaki, do you accept the roll as guard over the arrancar?" It felt like all eyes in the room had once again landed on me, as if I wasn't under enough pressure as it was to word this properly. I had to think for a moment, not seem eager or being overly concerned with Grimmjow lest the Head Captain or any of the reapers become suspicious, even though I wanted to immediately yell out that I accepted.

Any reaper worth their zanpakto would be uncertain about sticking their neck out for a hollow but I loved this one, even if he didn't know or reciprocate. It didn't help that I knew about their hatred, having an inner hollow myself but I had proved myself to them time and time again, Grimmjow hadn't. "If you do not accept the position as his guard then the hollow will be executed or tortured till his last breath."

Captain Yamamoto's rumbling voice cut through my thoughts with more efficiency than a blade. My breath caught in my throat as my heart pounded in my chest, feeling like it was threatening to break through my ribs at those words. Taking a deep breath before clearing my throat, I looked the Head Captain straight in the eye as I answered. "I have no interest in the ex-Espada losing his opportunity at a second chance due to my dislike of having to be his guard. It would be rather wasteful considering my testimony in his favor. I accept." I slightly panicked that perhaps I spoke those words with too much conviction as whispers and murmurs spread through the crowd of reapers, clips and snippets of conversations reaching my ears.

Looking over to Grimmjow I could tell he was feeling beyond conflicted. Basically I had just saved him, from possibly torture or death, but that didn't change what we were. I was still the enemy to him, still a reaper, the same reaper that he fought countless times, and he was still a hollow. He owed his life to an enemy, someone he hated, and he was in my custody, under my protection and had to be around me nearly every moment of however long this lasted. His eyes turned blank as they looked away from me, as if he was resigning himself to this, giving up.

I forced myself to tear my gaze away from him when I heard Captain Yamamoto had begun to speak again. "The prisoner will be brought to your home in the Soul Society. However… know that you must be watchful of him every moment, bringing him with you if you leave your residence and if he harms or attempts to harm you or any other soul, you will be the one to end his existence."

His words were harsh, cold and final, watching me with steely eyes as if he expected to find something that would lead to my undoing. I nodded once with a sharp answer of "Understood, Head Captain." He turned away and if I wasn't mistaken, he seemed disappointed as he closed his eyes and spoke to the reapers gathered in the hall. It was uncontrollable as my frame slouched slightly in relief, not able to stand rigid against everything without a moment of reprieve.

Just the thought of having to watch Grimmjow die or be the cause of his death… Losing him again… Cold dread filled my heart at the possibility. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't fail and lose him again. "Then the fate of ex-Espada, arrancar Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez has been decided. Meeting adjourned." His voice echoed through the hall with finality, firm and unmoving, as if he was daring anyone to question him or the decision he made.

There were a few moments of shuffling feet and disgruntled murmurs through the crowd of gathered reapers. None were pleased but they weren't about to speak up and question the Head Captain. They recognized the dismissal, discontent but they had to follow orders even if it hadn't been worded as one so they began to file out of the hall, muttering amongst themselves at a low enough range that their words and conversations wouldn't be able to reach the Head Captain.

Captain Yamamoto stood there for a while longer, overlooking the crowd before stepping down and disappearing amongst the moving bodies of the reapers like a drop of water in a river. As they walked by me they would watch me, pity or annoyance in their eyes, shaking their heads and filling the air with the sound of their sighs. It wasn't until I lost sight of Grimmjow as he was taken from the hall, that I began to make me way out of the hall.

Looking around I didn't see Rukia, knowing she must have gotten swept up and lost in the crowd. I wasn't worried; she was close and would find me sooner or later. Some idiot knocked me off balance, nearly sending me to the ground when their shoulder roughly collided with mine. I barked an annoyed and indignant "Hey!" when I caught a flash of red from the corner of my eyes.

Renji turned to regard me with a cold sneer and I knew that it hadn't been an accident. He had some kind of beef with me for some time now and apparently me sticking my neck out for Grimmjow of one of the last straws. Sure, Rukia and I had been getting closer for the past several years but I didn't think of her as anything more than a sister, someone dear to me that I would protect with my life. Renji should have known that but his increased hostility towards me obviously said the opposite.

I wasn't really interested in having a brawl with him in the meeting hall now but that didn't stop him from walking closer until he was in my personal space, grabbing the front of my haori in his fists and pulling me until my nose was level with his and our faces were just a few inches away. Had this occurred in any other situation, and had Renji not seemed so rabidly vicious beneath the sneering façade, I would have been flattered. Though, currently I watched Renji through a look of vague boredom, waiting for the punchline and Renji to reveal why he started the little confrontation. "I think you're getting exactly what you deserve, Kurosaki."

My eyes narrowed. Surely he wasn't going to be that obtuse when he spoke, but from his growing smirk and silence he wanted me to ask him to clarify. "And exactly what do I deserve, lieutenant Abarai?" A low growl rumbled from his chest when I used his title and he pushed me away from him with a rough shove.

It seemed that the fact that I wasn't getting angry and losing my temper was beginning to make him lose his. He shook his head while I brushed myself off with measured, practiced motions. Just because I didn't appear angered by him didn't mean that rage and annoyance wasn't bubbling within my own chest. "Tch, don't play dumb! You always rush in, having to play the hero and come out on top. But this time, you'll be the one stuck on the sidelines."

A soft hiss escaped my clenched teeth at his words. What did he honestly know about me anyway? He was only ever around if Rukia was involved. Gods that conceited smirk of his made me want to slaughter him. I'd saved his ass too many times to count for him to treat me as his adversary and I took a step forward, ready to knock him on his ass and make him take back everything he said when I sensed Rukia behind me.

My lips twitched as the corners pulled into a smug smile, one that confused Renji as he had been too focused on me to sense Rukia approach. Rukia walked out from behind me to stand at my side with her hands on her hips. I didn't have to see her face to know she wasn't happy, if anything she was majorly disappointed in him. "What is wrong with you Renji?"

The disappointment and exasperation in her voice had Renji lost for words, cutting like a knife. His mouth opened and closed but no sound escaped as he realized that Rukia had heard everything. With that realization he couldn't he look Rukia in the eye, seeming to have shrunk and lost all the arrogance and fire that he had just a moment ago when he was dealing with me.

"When are you going to grow up and act your age?" Renji flinched like Rukia had just slapped him. Rukia sighed and shook her head before placing a hand on the small of my back, using it to push me and guide me forward, around Renji and towards the doors. She uttered a soft "Goodbye Renji," without even looking back at him.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Renji reach out, as if he were about to grab Rukia's shoulder, stop her and say something but he stopped himself. A look of defeat entered his eyes as his arm fell to his side and he tore his eyes from Rukia's form. I know it's wrong but a sort of giddy feeling writhed around inside me, though it may have been my inner hollow laughing his ass off at Renji for getting his "just desserts".

Of course I also felt sorry for him. I mean, I knew how much Rukia meant to him, how much he loved her and how her opinion meant the world to him. Besides, it wasn't like I didn't know what it was like to be hated by someone I loved…

Sighing under my breath I looked over at Rukia who was now walking next to me. We were heading in the direction of Rukia's district and she had been quiet for quite some time now, lost in her own thoughts. "You know he likes you."

My words were soft, like I didn't want to spook her but also given with a casual air, nonchalant. Rukia turned to look at me, seeming confused at first as to whom I was referring to but as soon as she understood I knew. Her eyes widened before a blush colored her cheeks scarlet and rapidly shook her head. "No he doesn't. You shouldn't joke around like that Ichigo."

I rolled my eyes at her quick denial. She was one of the most intelligent people I knew but she could also be one of the most clueless. An idea occurred to me, something that would make Renji happy and get him off my back at the same time. "Hey, Rukia?"

She tilted her head at the tone of my voice, looking hesitant, cautious before she replied. "What is it Ichigo?" I had to fight to keep the smile from pulling up the corners of my lips. "Why don't you be the one to ask Renji out, hmm? You could go on a date with him, test the waters, and see if he 'really' likes you."

Rukia looked at me like I suggested challenging the gods to a duel (Sounds like me though doesn't it?). "Absolutely not Ichigo. What is with you all of the sudden? I don't need you trying to play match maker when I have Rangiku."

I cringed slightly at that. Yeah, the busty orange haired lieutenant had a penchant for sticking her nose into others' lives and trying to set up whatever pair she believed was best suited for each other. To be honest, I'm surprised she hasn't tried setting up Renji and Rukia yet but I think she's probably waiting for them to do that on their own as everyone around them already realized Renji was head over heels for Rukia and Rukia could do worse. I shrugged before nudging her shoulder with mine. "You'll never know~"

Rukia glared at me when she heard the lilt to my words but only sighed and shook her head. However when she looked at me with an evil gleam in her eyes I quickly took a few steps away from her, not liking that look and what it might spell for my wellbeing. "I'll consider it if you consider going with me and a few others to the human world later. We're going to some of the human clubs."

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly, trying to think of a reason not to go when thoughts of my newest charge came into my mind. I would have to look after him so I wouldn't be lying, plus Head Captain Yamamoto said the guards would bring him over later, not really specifying when later would be. "I'd really love to Rukia but the guards are moving Grimmjow to my place and I have to watch him." Rukia seemed disappointed but understood, not pushing the subject.

She remained silent until we reached the Kuchiki mansion and as we stood in front of the gates I took her hand, kissed the back of it and bowed with a cocky grin. Rukia rolled her eyes and swatted at me, which I easily avoided, but at least she laughed at my cheekiness. I still call that a win~ "Good luck Ichigo and goodnight."

She called out as I walked away, waving as she closed the gate behind her. As soon as she was out of sight I sighed, letting my shoulders slouch and spine stoop. I rolled my shoulders, wincing as they popped and clicked. Today probably had to be the most taxing one, emotionally mainly, that I'd faced in a long time.

Hell, even the Captain's exam hadn't been as bad. That also reminded me that I had to stop by and see Izuru after Captain Unohana. I bet those last few sentences left you all confused as fuck, huh? Well let me be the one to enlighten you all on what's happened to me.

I died.

Thank you to whoever is crying and wailing over this news but don't worry, I didn't die in vain.

I died while protecting my friends in the human world. It wasn't expected either. My friends, Chad, Uryu, Orihime, Tatsuki and I had been walking together after college was over for the day when out of nowhere a hollow appeared. I lost my substitute soul reaper badge in the scuffle when the hollow knocked me aside.

The hollow was an ugly son of a bitch with a mask resembling a barracuda but it had a tall humanoid body, clawed hands and feet along with long barbed tentacles coming out of its back. It wasn't capable of speech and didn't seem to have much sentience if any. Chad and Uryu had been too far away to do anything when the hollow sent one of its tentacles at Orihime like a spear but I was right there. I had been the closest to her and pushed her out of the way.

It wasn't really a shock when the tentacle tore through my chest but I still remember the looks of disbelief and terror on my friends' faces, the way they screamed and how Chad and Uryu seemed possessed the next moment, yelling in rage with eyes of beasts. They destroyed the hollow and carefully removed the spear-like tentacle from my chest so Orihime could start healing me but no matter how hard she tried, her abilities didn't work. It seemed that the hollow had some kind of specialized poison flowing through its body which it used to immobilize prey and other hollows but while it could cause paralysis in other hollows and arrancar, it was fatal to humans. Even though I had a hollow as a part of my soul it didn't help much as he was only able to give me a few moments with my friends before I ended up dying.

They were all beside themselves, going from despair to denial and rage, and I felt so guilty watching tears stream down Chad's face. Orihime was crying, sobbing and wailing into my chest with her hands fisted in my shirt as Tatsuki held onto her and tried to pull her away, hide the scene of my death from Orihime's view. Uryu was yelling at me for being a stupid, thick-headed reaper, an insult I laughed at even then because his words had no bite to them. He tried not to look at me and hide his face behind his fringe of hair but I saw the tears gathered in his eyes and I smiled.

I was surrounded by my friends and had saved one of their lives before I was fatally wounded, what more could I ask for?

It wasn't long before darkness took over my vision, no different than losing consciousness or surrendering to sleep but what surprised me was that I woke up, looking into Captain Unohana's deep blue eyes. She smiled softly down at me before going over some tests, explaining what had happened to me as she went along. It turned out that when I died only my human body did and I was transported to the Soul Society as all living souls usually were. I had given her quite the scare, along with the reapers that found me, because I was in a coma for over two weeks.

After that I was able to become a full reaper, going into the same academy Rukia, Renji and the others had attended and I worked my ass off. My inner hollow was still with me; always there as he was a part of my soul but he was also a reason for others to look down on me even after all I had done for them and the Soul Society. I was elected as a candidate to be the captain of a squad but then came the problem of which one I would be sent to, plus there was an exam or I suppose you could call it a test.

I was to prove my worth to the rest of the Squad Captains, more for show than anything else; to show that I could lead a squad and protect them but the hardest part was proving myself to my actual squad. It didn't help that I was assigned by Head Captain Yamamoto to Squad 3. They had their fair share of problems and fuckups long before I came in and naturally it made them wary of new comers.

Only Izuru Kira had ties to me, fought beside me and knew that I could be trusted and he vouched for me to the others members of the Third Squad. I was honored that Izuru would do that for me and believe me he was an amazing guy but Gin sure fucked with his mind. He still blamed himself for what happened with his Captain, that he should have noticed, done something and my heart breaks for the guy. He didn't really think much of himself but I think having me as his Captain helped.

I helped build his confidence, took away some of the guilt he felt and was there whenever he needed me.

Izuru was hard pressed as he had to do the work of both a lieutenant and a captain but when I came in I took most of the work load, including a lot of his own even though he tried his best to argue with me. He deserved a break, more time for himself and time to actually get sleep. I have no doubt that Captain Unohana would have had him confined to bed rest if she actually got a good look at him, dark half circles under his eyes, paler than I remembered him to be, and he was thin, gods his cheeks were sunken and his ribs protruded from his skin like they were rejecting the rest of his skeleton. They were the reason he didn't go around shirtless in the barracks if he could help it, another thing to make him self-conscious and wear at his confidence.

I had to put him on bed rest when he collapsed several weeks after I joined the squad, not allowing him near a piece of paper work until he was back to full health. Luckily the other squad members stood by me on my choice, helping me watch over Izuru, bringing him food, keeping him company, and making sure he took it easy. I took on all of the work but I didn't mind, didn't complain but I think that whole event, Izuru getting sick and everything was what finally won my squad over. They realized that I really did care about them and thought of them as family.

Rose helped me out with learning my way around things while Izuru rested but him and the other Visoreds preferred to think of themselves as retired, well except Shinji. He became the Captain of his former squad and made a major difference in Momo's life. I'm not saying that everything was back the way it was before Aizen's betrayal or that all wounds were healed but we are getting our lives back to the way they should be, becoming reapers worth being called the guardians of souls.

So that brings everyone up to date and just in time as I find myself in front of Captain Unohana's barracks (flashstep). My mouth and throat were feeling dry as a desert as I entered the barracks. I had every reason to be nervous after the event in the Meeting Hall, especially with having no clue how Retsu felt about the proceedings. She could be one of the reapers that had been against giving Grimmjow a chance and I highly doubt that if that was the case she would accept my request for the medical supplies I needed to treat Grimmjow later when he arrived at my home in the Third Division.

Cautiously I sought out Retsu's soul waves and followed the signal, swallowing and trying to wet my parched throat as I found myself outside one of the patient rooms. Retsu looked up from the soul reaper she was applying healing kido to and smiled, that warm and kind smile that reminded me of my mother, calming the nerves that had been eating away at me. "Ichigo, I'll be done with my patient in a moment and then I'll give you my undivided attention." Her voice was full of patience, something one needed when dealing with injured soul reapers all day, and polite like nothing could ever ruffle her feathers.

I nodded and hurriedly replied for her to take her time; I could wait since I was the one needing a favor from her. Leaning against the wooden molding of the door I couldn't help but watch as she used her healing kido, the soft green glow that emanated from her hands, pulsing like a heartbeat and giving off a feeling of serenity to whoever looked at it. Her reishi spoke volumes of her own personality. I suppose I could understand why most reapers were respectfully afraid of her, she was a Captain but never showed off her power, the power we all knew that she held back and hid from the rest of us, but the only times she intimidated me was when I was in her sick beds and refused to stay there.

I did deserve that, I won't lie, but all other times she was sweet as sugar, helpful whenever she was needed, and I could never be able to thank her enough for what she had already done for me in the past. It wasn't long until the green glow stopped and Retsu instructed her patient to get some rest and she would check on his progress later. Retsu closed the door behind her before greeting me with that emanating warmth and gentle smile.

"Ichigo, I can't say I wasn't expecting you but what is it you're here for?"

The look in her eyes showed that she already knew the reason for my visit but she wanted me to be the one to ask. Laughing nervously as I ran my hand through my hair, trying to gather the courage and words.

"W-Well, I was wondering, if it isn't too much trouble, if you could let me borrow some medical supplies, um, for the Ex-Espada, Grimmjow, he was in pretty bad shape last I saw him..."

My words trailed off but I didn't miss the look of amusement in Captain Unohana's eyes, nor the way her lips twitched with the desire to pull into a wide smile. She nodded amicably, finally deciding to spare me any further discomfort.

"Of course, I'll have Isane drop them off at your home in the Third Division."

I quickly shook my head, raising my hands in a stop or slow down gesture. "That's very kind of you Captain Unohana but I wouldn't want to trouble you or Lieutenant Isane. I bet things are very busy here and you need all the hands you can get." Retsu easily waved off my rejections, her tone not changing but I could tell she wouldn't be swayed, standing firm in her decision.

"Nonsense Ichigo, it's no trouble at all." She leaned in till her lips were inches from my ear, her voice low but clear. "What you did today was admirable Ichigo. Everyone, even a hollow, deserves a second chance. I'm very proud of you."

As she pulled away with that same smile on her face and sympathetic eyes emotion welled up in me, choking me but it was in a good way. To hear that my mother figure was proud of me meant the world, even more so to know that she supported my decision. Grinning as I blinked back the tears threatening to gather and fall and nodded, thanking her profusely before leaving Squad Four's barracks and flashstepping back to my own division.

Roughly rubbing my sleeve against my eyes to rid any signs of the tears I wanted to cry and taking a deep breath before I stopped outside the barracks of the squad I was proud to call my own. I was given mixed greetings as I went inside. It seemed that news of my testimony in favor of Grimmjow had already spread back to the barracks. Some of the reapers didn't exactly seem happy with my arrival, narrowed eyes, disgusted looks, some turned away in revulsion and disappointment, and it did weigh on me that I had, in some way, let down my own squad, my family.

But Captain Unohana's words came back to me and it helped me stand a little taller, straighten my shoulders and look back at them in challenge. If they had a problem with me then they should speak directly to me and be straight with me (pun unintended). Now I just had to find out if Izuru was upset with me too.

Warily poking my head into the office we shared I found him hunched over another stack of paper work at his desk. I cleared my throat to get his attention as I stayed by the door, only a foot or two inside the room. When his head popped up and looked back at me, seeing that understanding smile, the one that lit up his face and reached his eyes, it felt like the world's tension had lifted from my shoulders.

Izuru's opinion meant the world to me, he was my biggest supporter, and if my heart wasn't so stuck on Grimmjow I bet I would have had a huge crush on my lieutenant. He beckoned me to come further into the room with a look that said he wanted to chastise me and laugh about my being so nervous around him; the phrase "I don't bite" went through my head causing a small smile to curl into my lips. "Captain Kurosaki, I thought you would be home now preparing for your new guest."

I snorted as I rolled my eyes, knowing that he was having fun with me as his green eyes glimmered with mirth. He knew I came into the office every day without fail, today would be no different even with the events in the Meeting Hall earlier, but perhaps it would after Grimmjow was released into my care. I couldn't go parading around with him everywhere.

It would be best if I kept him under house arrest for the time being but that also meant I was confined to the house. Looking over the papers covering my lieutenant's desk and mine with a sigh before running a hand through my hair. "I'll be taking today's papers home with me but if I could trouble you to deliver tomorrow's paperwork and however many others there may be in the upcoming days to my residence…"

I had already started gathering the papers present on my desk in my arms when Izuru protested. "Captain, you don't need to worry yourself with those. I can take care of the menial work until you're available to come into the office."

He tried to take the papers in my hands from me but I held on stubbornly, fixing him with a firm look. "Izuru, I can do my fair share of work. I refuse to burden you with more than necessary."

My words didn't appear to have any effect on him and I wasn't really in the mood for a tug-of-war with important, but boring and annoying, paperwork so with a heavy sigh I tried to reason with him. I wasn't upset with him, proud actually that he had become comfortable enough around me to joke and argue with me. "Alright then, if you insist I will bequeath any paperwork that comes in during the next few weeks but all of the papers here today, on your desk and mine, are coming home with me and I will send you a Hell butterfly when I finish with them. You have the rest of the day off Izuru and I hope you won't force me to make this an order."

Izuru's mouth opened, looking like he desperately wanted to argue with me but then it closed and a defeated sigh left his lips. He fixed me with a half-hearted glare that had me barking with laughter and holding onto his shoulder for support before he released the papers into my hands. "If you insist, Captain Kurosaki."

Izuru reluctantly helped me gather the rest of the unsigned papers on his desk and handed me the rather tall stack of papers. I did my best to maneuver my way out of the office with the stack of papers blocking my view but if Izuru's quiet laughter was anything to go by I made quite the amusing sight. He wished me luck and said good bye before I got too far out of range to hear him.

Luckily my residence wasn't very far from the Third Division's barracks and I didn't have to stumble around for very long until I came upon it. Hugging the papers to my chest with one arm and praying they wouldn't fall as I opened the gate before having to do the same with my front door, kicking off my sandals after closing the door with my foot and leaving them by the front step. To my surprise, and immense gratitude, as I made my way through my house I found enough medical supplies to treat an entire squad for months on my kitchen table.

I would look through the supplies after I dealt with the paperwork and had that all sorted out. Finally I laid the problematic stack of papers on the wooden desk in my home office before looking around as a sigh left my lips. My home in the Soul Society had four bedrooms, one was obviously mine, another had been made into the office/library I was currently in and the last two were guest bedrooms. Now I just had to figure out which one to house Grimmjow in.

I wasn't sure if he would think I was mocking him if I put him in the one with cerulean blue walls but decided not to risk it and that he would have the room closest to mine. It had mahogany walls and it was a strategic advantage to have him closer to my room in case he needed anything, and I could keep a closer eye on him. At least that was out of the way and all that was left was to deal with was the paperwork to which I was giving baleful glares.

Sinking down into the chair in front of my desk I resigned myself to the time consuming, soul sucking, job of going through each one, signing what needed to be signed and filling out what needed to be filled out. I had finished half of it by the time my eyelids were starting to droop and gaping yawns were beginning to plague me. Paperwork was always so boring and tedious. I wasn't surprised Rangiku and Captain Shunsui hated it enough to shirk and avoid it.

However, unlike them I kept at it until the pen in my hand was lazily scribbling over the last paper and my head kept dropping tiredly. I crossed an arm over the desk and laid my cheek against it as another yawn escaped my jaws, promising myself that I would only rest my eyes for a few minutes and then I would send Izuru a Hell butterfly so he or another squad mate could pick up the signed and completed stacks of papers. It wasn't even a moment after I finished that promise that I surrendered myself to the darkness and was sleeping like the dead.


End file.
